Day 22: Thoughts on the Human Condition

I now understand the well-spring of all stand-up comedy. People are dolts. I have been pondering this the whole trip, but really for the last week, because the number of signs telling people what NOT to do have been increasing to the point where you just stop, scratch your head, and say: Are people really that dumb? Do they really need to be told what to do and not to do down to the last little thing? Apparently so. This morning, Lisa took Nick out for his morning constitutional. Two truckers started to approach. Lisa told them that Nick wasn't very friendly (our nice way of telling people to back off). They ignored the warning and kept coming, at which point, Nick did his job. The men backed off, acting offended / surprised. Therefore, the need for signs on every square inch of the lovely motel properties we have been calling home these past few weeks. (Boy are we looking forward to a campground soon.)

I wish I had actually captured the language of the signs, but these will give you the flavor:

Do not remove the window screen.

Please protect yourself and us. Call the front desk to dispose of hypodermic needles.

Do not cook in your room. Doing so will result in expulsion. No refunds.

[at the "free" breakfast bar, where there was no real food, just powdered eggs, fake sausage, and high fructose corn syrup laden "goodies"]: Please take only as much food as you can eat. Control your children. Leave food for others. Do not take food back to your room. (These admonitions were actually a full paragraph of text.)

And so many more common sense kinds of things that it's just stunning. I wish I could channel George Carlin for some biting satire, but you'll need to supply that. I'm just sort of amazed.

On the brighter side (I think. It could be viewed as scary, too), there have been a series of white billboards with giant black text that say things like:

Be Grateful.
Be Kind.
Be Polite.

Maybe those are correlated with the "don't do stupid things" signs. Not sure.

Off to shower now. Just had to share. We'll be eager to hear any of your theories.

1 comment:

  1. My theory is that you are seeing these signs because you are staying in 1.) cheap motels 2.) areas where a LOT of travelers roll through on a daily basis, therefore creating a sort of chaos. Sadly, the general population doesn't care if they mess up your crap or cause problems. I learned this when I worked at the bookstore and had to leave a sign in the children's room that said: DON'T LEAVE YOUR CHILDREN. It rarely worked. Which is why I vowed to never work with the general public again.